Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Moving: Chapter 2

The Big Day

The Expert and his entourage of helpers arrive with their really BIG van. As well as redefining the meaning of big, this van is also so rusty and old that the only place it should be headed is the scrapyard (not 250 miles away to Durham). Alarm bells start to reverberate around my head.

They come inside and take a fresh look at our stuff - which is now all boxed up and waiting patiently in the living room. Jaws drop and silence ensues. I pretend it's because they're impressed with my packing skills, and not because they're overwhelmed by how much stuff we actually have.

The entourage follow their leader outside where they stare into the back of the van and contemplate the task ahead. The van begins to roll away! As I watch them chase their van down the street the Alarm bells in my head get louder.

They begin packing. This is a good sign. One of the members of the entourage is The Experts older brother and he has 7 years packing experience. If anyone can make this miracle happen it's him. But just incase he can't I muster the courage to find out what they're back up plan is.

"So... have you got another van you can go and get, in case it doesn't all fit in?" I ask
"No" replied Little Brother
"How were you able to make the original quote of 2 vans?"
"I was just going to rent one"
"So what other vehicles do you have then?"
"A Ford Galaxy"

I don't ask anymore questions.
The packing continues.
It looks like they might actually pull this off.
While Big brother aserts himself in actually trying to fit everything into the van, The Expert takes a differrent approach in trying to get the job done...

"I'm happy to take some stuff to the dump for you" he says. "Like this" he continues, pointing at the kids play kitchen, " I mean do you really want that?"

Both AC and I struggle to find words.

Eventually the van is packed and bulging full. Even the foot well in the passenger cabin is crammed with princess dolls and plastic food. The back shutter can't even be shut properly, though that isn't a surprise considering the state of the van. The van is obviously above the legal weight limit and looking as suspicious as it does we keep our fingers crossed that it doesn't attract the polices attention on it's journey up.

As impressive a performance as Big Brother has given we will still have to make a return journey for the few remaining items. They agree to put whats left into storage for us for no extra charge. How kind.

Now all that's left to do is drive up north. Have a good nights sleep. Pick up the keys to our new digs. And hope the van makes it there too.


  1. I cant wait for chapter 3....infact as I read the last sentence of this chapter the drums from the end of Eastenders resounded in my head

  2. Oh Jude! How nail biting. I can't believe you are making us wait for the next instalment! ;-)